How to Talk to Your Child About Mental Health

It's important to begin talking to your children about mental health at a young age. A helpful way to start the conversation is by having a common understanding of the definition of mental health as an overview of being: how we feel, how we act, and how we think.

It's also essential to discuss the importance of maintaining mental health as it affects how we make decisions, how we deal with difficult situations and how we interact with others.

Understanding the Basics of Emotions

When it comes to talking about mental health, it's important to be consistent and open to discussion. Create an environment at home where it's okay to have emotions and to talk about them. Teach your child that feeling emotions is not a bad thing, including feelings of anger, sadness and fear.

Emotions help you to understand what's going on inside of you, so identifying your feelings when they come up allows you to open up instead of burying them deeper inside.

You can also help them understand that big feelings may feel like too much at the time, but they will pass and change as feelings inherently do.

Create a Safe Environment

Find time every day to talk about their emotions and be sure to remove distractions, pause before reacting and actively listen.

Be flexible about how the conversation happens. This could be a formal sit down or a conversation in the car on the way home.

You may find that your child is reluctant to share how they are feeling, and that is completely normal. Whenever they do open up, make sure you are listening and they know that you are someone who will not judge them.

Remember, each day doesn't have to be a stressful sit down to force your child to discuss their feelings, it's about creating a safe space and allowing them an opportunity to talk about them.

How to Start the Conversation

To start the conversation, you can use open-ended, specific questions that help to elicit conversation:

• "What was the best part of your day?"
• "Worst part of your day?"
• "What was something you enjoyed today?"

If you notice that your child seems worried or sad, you can ask them direct questions.

• "Are you sad about something today?"
• "Is there something on your mind that is bothering you?"

If your child brings up a problem, it's important you don't try to fix it for them, instead try to collaborate and solve the issue together. Let them know you are listening and care:

• "I bet that is really hard."
• "I am always here; you will get through this."
• "It's okay to feel this way sometimes, feelings come and go, but we can always figure it out together."
• "It's okay to make a mistake. Nothing will change how much I love you."
• "That was brave of you, thank you for sharing."

Signs It May Be Something More

If your child is experiencing anxiety, depression or you notice significant changes in their behavior, it may be time to get professional help.

Some questions you can ask yourself to help determine if you should seek professional care include:

• Are they more irritable than normal? Withdrawn? Crying more often? Low energy?
• Is your child starting arguments more than normal? Changes in eating or sleeping? Evidence of self-harm or drug use?
• Are they suddenly appearing especially bored, lonely, withdrawn or starting to get into trouble? Spending more time alone and losing interest in friends or other things they used to like? Missing school more often?

If your child is showing signs of the above, there may be something more going on than just common emotions.

It is okay to ask them directly if they are having suicidal thoughts--this does not cause someone to have suicidal thoughts.

Continue to monitor your child's mood and behavior. Collaborate with school support and reach out to your child's primary care provider.

Your child should understand it's okay to ask for help when they need it. Mental illness does not need to be a secret and there are professionals that are experts in behavioral health that offer several effective treatment options.

Helpful Resources

How to talk to your kids about mental health | UNICEF Parenting

Parents: Tips for Talking to Your Child About Mental Health | Children's Hospital of Philadelphia (chop.edu)

For Parents and Caregivers of Children | SAMHSA

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